Was browsing through several blogs tonight. 3 out of the 4 that I read focused on the topic of love. Perhaps it's the end of the year and everyone's in a reflective, pensive mood. One spoke of love for her students, another of love for a girl, another of the hopelessness of finding the right girl to love.
And there I was, telling my new stuffed toy donkey, Donga that I love him. Sigh.
These days, I do also think about affairs concerning finding that significant other. Not that it makes any difference since there's nothing I can or will do about it. I've always maintained that such things are really in God's hands. Doesn't make it easy though, especially when you're within the arbitrary "marriagable age range".
Typical conversation goes:
Them: "So, no boyfriend ah?"
Me: "No."
Them: "Why?"
Me: (Silence) But inside, I'm thinking.... "Got why one meh?"
I do however manage to give them the puzzled, confused and embarrassed grin that usually prompts a change of topic.
Oh well, I reckon if I'm still single by the time I'm 35, the questions will eventually cease. Not that I'm hoping that that will happen...
Saturday, December 30, 2006
My lobster face
Ouch!!
"If you don't take care of your skin, you'll just pay money to suffer!"
"If you don't take care of your skin, you'll just pay money to suffer!"
The words of mum echo in my head each time my face comes into contact with anything, even a piece of tissue paper. It's sore, very sore. It's red, very red.
Had a facial appointment today. The last time I went, Sam (facial lady) was appalled at the state of my skin. Apparently every single pore on my face was clogged, hence the eruption of white- heads and black-heads. She managed to convince me then that I should fork out a substantial sum of money to do "bio peeling". I agreed, not realising that it was going to be such an ordeal! Having said that, the result was good and even mum thought that it would be a good idea to have another "peel", which I did today.
Bio peeling. It is apparently a sort of face scrub, which is made up of some herbal formula which penetrates deep into the pores and cleanses deep down. What they don't advertise is that it actually feels like someone is heaping handfuls of ground glass and scrubbing your entire face with it for 15 min. (ok, it was probably more like 8-10 min, but it sure felt like eternity) If any of you have had your zits "extracted" during a facial session, I'd say that on a scale of 1-10 for pain, an extraction sits somewhere about 3 and this... about 8.
And when you thought it was over, spoonfuls of cold, very minty goop is heaped onto your painful raw skin. At this point, you actually feel the arteries supplying your face pulsate. The masque is then peeled off your face and the process of cleaning all the residue with 2 sponges begins. More pain.
That's not the end. You end up walking around like a well-cooked lobster for the next 2 days. Afterwhich, your skin starts to flake off- think severe facial dandruff if you want a good mental picture.
So yes mum, you are right, I am paying good money to suffer. Yes, I will use those facial products, I will try my very best to keep my itchy fingers off my face, I will put my fringe up. I will do just about anything if it means avoiding going through the entire process again.
Ouch!!!
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Sumptuous lunch
Food. The one consistent feature of my current trip home. I've had an excess of good food on a daily basis, ranging from home-cooked-all-time-favourites to hawker fare to fine cuisine. My appreciation of food is the one proof of my "Singaporeaness"!
I shall admit to having a "checklist" that I try to get through at least once during each return home. Off the top of my head, I can tick off the following (in no particular order):
1. Mee rubus
2. Seafood hor fun
3. Mee pok tah with fishballs
4. Rojak
5. Popiah
6. Soon kway
7. Beef kway teow
8. Fish head curry
9. Dim sum
The above are just part of the list of "must haves". I've been quite successful- have managed to squeeze in many of the dishes more than once. I've had tonnes of other drool-worthy dishes, but I'll spare your salivary glands and refrain from listing them all.
I've detracted from the point of this post. I meant to say that mum, dad and I had lunch at Restaurante Bologna today. I normally try to have as little "ang-moh" food when I'm in S'pore as possible (so there'll be more room for the local grub), but this italien restaurant is a winner on more than one count! The food's fab, the ambience nice, the service good and very importantly, the capuccino did not disappoint. I had the antipasto and dessert buffet. The main courses looked really really good, but even my highly capable satiety centre had to stop me from over-indulgence. Having said that, I visited the antipasto spread at least 5 times, then swiftly proceeded to the desserts. The cheesecake was... well I had 2 slices, so that speaks for itself. Was quite controlled and had just 1 slice of chocolate cake, a bite of mum's tiramisu and another little chocolate thing which I don't know the name of. No matter how full one is, there's always room for coffee- my capuccino went down with much ease.
So, if you've not been to Bologna, I'd highly recommend it! Mum and dad have been there nearly every mothers' day for the past few years! And we all know how fussy my mum is about her food...
I shall admit to having a "checklist" that I try to get through at least once during each return home. Off the top of my head, I can tick off the following (in no particular order):
1. Mee rubus
2. Seafood hor fun
3. Mee pok tah with fishballs
4. Rojak
5. Popiah
6. Soon kway
7. Beef kway teow
8. Fish head curry
9. Dim sum
The above are just part of the list of "must haves". I've been quite successful- have managed to squeeze in many of the dishes more than once. I've had tonnes of other drool-worthy dishes, but I'll spare your salivary glands and refrain from listing them all.
I've detracted from the point of this post. I meant to say that mum, dad and I had lunch at Restaurante Bologna today. I normally try to have as little "ang-moh" food when I'm in S'pore as possible (so there'll be more room for the local grub), but this italien restaurant is a winner on more than one count! The food's fab, the ambience nice, the service good and very importantly, the capuccino did not disappoint. I had the antipasto and dessert buffet. The main courses looked really really good, but even my highly capable satiety centre had to stop me from over-indulgence. Having said that, I visited the antipasto spread at least 5 times, then swiftly proceeded to the desserts. The cheesecake was... well I had 2 slices, so that speaks for itself. Was quite controlled and had just 1 slice of chocolate cake, a bite of mum's tiramisu and another little chocolate thing which I don't know the name of. No matter how full one is, there's always room for coffee- my capuccino went down with much ease.
So, if you've not been to Bologna, I'd highly recommend it! Mum and dad have been there nearly every mothers' day for the past few years! And we all know how fussy my mum is about her food...
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
The frog symphony
My sleep cycle's a little topsy-turvy again. I blame it on the frogs.
Or I could go one step further and blame it on the rain.
When it rains constantly and heavily like it has done over the past 48 hours, the frog army invades the forest and fields around our house. These frogs have amazing stamina and lung capacity. They start their symphony at about 6.30pm and keep going till 6am the next day. The problem is made worse by the fact that they don't exactly sing rhythmically. So as I lie there, trying hard not to concentrate on their croaks, I can feel myself anticipating the arrival of the next croak, which would inevitably be totally out of time!
Maybe the frogs will get sore throats and stop. Or maybe it will just stop raining and the frogs will go home and give their voice boxes a rest.
Or I could go one step further and blame it on the rain.
When it rains constantly and heavily like it has done over the past 48 hours, the frog army invades the forest and fields around our house. These frogs have amazing stamina and lung capacity. They start their symphony at about 6.30pm and keep going till 6am the next day. The problem is made worse by the fact that they don't exactly sing rhythmically. So as I lie there, trying hard not to concentrate on their croaks, I can feel myself anticipating the arrival of the next croak, which would inevitably be totally out of time!
Maybe the frogs will get sore throats and stop. Or maybe it will just stop raining and the frogs will go home and give their voice boxes a rest.
Old friends
I believe people are like apples. There's the core, which is shaped by a person's nature, as well as nurture, particularly during childhood. Then there's all the flesh- the substance that's added on as the years go by, influenced by events and experiences unique to each person. Sometimes the flesh is beautiful, sweet and crunchy... almost perfect. Other times, it's sour, soft and powdery... perhaps even rotting. But as long as the rotting flesh does not penetrate to the core, the core's really still the same.
This thought always comes to me when I meet up with old friends. Whenever I meet up with friends whom I've known since primary or secondary school, I head to the meeting place with a mixture of excitement and apprehension. There's always joy and eager anticipation to see friends you've not seen for ages, find out about what's new and current in their lives, laugh over all the silly things that you did together in days gone by. And yet, there's always this tinge of fear. What if you've lost that "bond"? What if your lives have gone in such different directions that you don't have anything to talk about anymore? What if your friends whom you thought you knew have changed so much that you aren't sure you know them anymore?
Well, each time I do meet up with these old friends, I am relieved to discover that my fears are unfounded. That yes, our lives have taken very different paths, but we still share the thick bond of friendship that weathers time and circumstance.
Somehow, old friends who have known you since childhood/schooldays are special. Perhaps we become more shallow people as we go along, or perhaps we succumb to the world's value system, or lack of as we leave the comfort and security of our homes and schools. Such friends know our "core", the people we really are before we are dressed by the flesh. Maybe that's why when we meet, we are able to re-reveal that very pure part of ourselves that's always been there. A bit of that innocence that comes with being a child, being young. And we can rest assured that there are no pretences, no hidden agendas, no "reading between the lines".
To all my friends, especially the ones whom I've met up with or been in contact with in the recent weeks, thanks! - For being just the way you are.
This thought always comes to me when I meet up with old friends. Whenever I meet up with friends whom I've known since primary or secondary school, I head to the meeting place with a mixture of excitement and apprehension. There's always joy and eager anticipation to see friends you've not seen for ages, find out about what's new and current in their lives, laugh over all the silly things that you did together in days gone by. And yet, there's always this tinge of fear. What if you've lost that "bond"? What if your lives have gone in such different directions that you don't have anything to talk about anymore? What if your friends whom you thought you knew have changed so much that you aren't sure you know them anymore?
Well, each time I do meet up with these old friends, I am relieved to discover that my fears are unfounded. That yes, our lives have taken very different paths, but we still share the thick bond of friendship that weathers time and circumstance.
Somehow, old friends who have known you since childhood/schooldays are special. Perhaps we become more shallow people as we go along, or perhaps we succumb to the world's value system, or lack of as we leave the comfort and security of our homes and schools. Such friends know our "core", the people we really are before we are dressed by the flesh. Maybe that's why when we meet, we are able to re-reveal that very pure part of ourselves that's always been there. A bit of that innocence that comes with being a child, being young. And we can rest assured that there are no pretences, no hidden agendas, no "reading between the lines".
To all my friends, especially the ones whom I've met up with or been in contact with in the recent weeks, thanks! - For being just the way you are.
Boxing day thoughts
Ok, so it's about an hour past boxing day. Couldn't quite come up with another title for this post though.
Dawned on me this evening that my holiday at home is coming to an end in a week. It's been really nice to be home. Times like this, I ask myself if it is time to pack my bags and head home. Then all the "buts" come in. But... wouldn't it be easier to finish my exams first? But... is it really time to rejoin all my peers on the S'pore hamster wheel? But... how will I ever have a life outside medicine if I have to take on the not-so-friendly working hours of a S'pore doctor? But, but, but...
But there's the other side to it... I want to be there as my parents age and require more care and attention. If I do marry and have kids, I would rather they grow up in the secure S'pore environment (despite all the kiasuism) than in the UK environment, where the values of discipline, diligence and respect seem to have disintegrated.
The "buts" are unending. Guess the "wait and see" attitude is useful sometimes.
Dawned on me this evening that my holiday at home is coming to an end in a week. It's been really nice to be home. Times like this, I ask myself if it is time to pack my bags and head home. Then all the "buts" come in. But... wouldn't it be easier to finish my exams first? But... is it really time to rejoin all my peers on the S'pore hamster wheel? But... how will I ever have a life outside medicine if I have to take on the not-so-friendly working hours of a S'pore doctor? But, but, but...
But there's the other side to it... I want to be there as my parents age and require more care and attention. If I do marry and have kids, I would rather they grow up in the secure S'pore environment (despite all the kiasuism) than in the UK environment, where the values of discipline, diligence and respect seem to have disintegrated.
The "buts" are unending. Guess the "wait and see" attitude is useful sometimes.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Langkawi
Dad, mum, mei and I went on a nice short break to Langkawi. The sun was shining, the sea was clear and the food was yummy (most of it)!
So all we really did was lie on the beach, swim at the pool and in the sea, eat and watch astro in the hotel room. Oh yes, there was also some snorkelling and canoeing done.
We stayed at The Andaman, and I would highly recommend it. It's owned by the same group that own the famous Datai, but it's certainly less dear. We visited the rooms at the Datai as well, which were really nice, but to be honest, the deluxe rooms weren't that much nicer than their equivalent at the Andaman but cost about 1.7 times as much. The villas at the Datai however are in a league of their own.
Foodwise, apart from the satay that we had at the pasar malam, the food at the hotel was far superior to what we had outside the hotel. What was most impressive was Gulai House, which serves local cuisine with that added touch. Gulai House was a winner on all counts- presentation, flavours, service, ambience.
Now for the photos. 1st one is of dad, mum and mei walking on the beach. As you can see, dad's eyes are sensitive to the sunlight and mum, well... feels she needs her reflective umbrella along with SPF 60 sunblock.
2nd one is of me in full concentration. I was trying to scrape the coconut flesh from my "cendol in young coconut". Next one is of mum, dad and I at Gulai House- our 2nd meal there in 3 days. The last one is of me, dad and mei- the brown, the pale and the coffee...
So all we really did was lie on the beach, swim at the pool and in the sea, eat and watch astro in the hotel room. Oh yes, there was also some snorkelling and canoeing done.
We stayed at The Andaman, and I would highly recommend it. It's owned by the same group that own the famous Datai, but it's certainly less dear. We visited the rooms at the Datai as well, which were really nice, but to be honest, the deluxe rooms weren't that much nicer than their equivalent at the Andaman but cost about 1.7 times as much. The villas at the Datai however are in a league of their own.
Foodwise, apart from the satay that we had at the pasar malam, the food at the hotel was far superior to what we had outside the hotel. What was most impressive was Gulai House, which serves local cuisine with that added touch. Gulai House was a winner on all counts- presentation, flavours, service, ambience.
Now for the photos. 1st one is of dad, mum and mei walking on the beach. As you can see, dad's eyes are sensitive to the sunlight and mum, well... feels she needs her reflective umbrella along with SPF 60 sunblock.
2nd one is of me in full concentration. I was trying to scrape the coconut flesh from my "cendol in young coconut". Next one is of mum, dad and I at Gulai House- our 2nd meal there in 3 days. The last one is of me, dad and mei- the brown, the pale and the coffee...
Chinty and Leeyen's wedding
10th Dec- Chinty and Leeyen's wedding. I made a trip up to KL and spent several days there. Stayed with Michelle :) It was really nice... and most strange at the same time. Went up 2 days prior to the wedding and had a couple of meals with Glasgow friends who are back in KL for the season, as well as old friends who've returned to KL for good. It was somewhat like "Glasgow transferred". Pastor Winston and Sister Eunice were there too!Didn't have my camera with me, so all the photos were taken with my phone. Didn't snap any at the lunch reception. Shall await Michelle's photos.
Also met up with Sharm @ megamall... Haven't seen her in ages!
Monday, December 18, 2006
Dad's baptism
My dad was baptised yesterday:)
It was so sweet and beautiful.
2 days prior to baptism day, dad was informed he had to prepare a "testimony" on an A4 sheet. So guess what, my dear sis and I had to play scribe and "paraphraser" on Saturday night. It was actaully a blessing to be a part of his testimony writing! It was really nice hearing his testimony in it's raw form.
Often, "conversion" comes as a gradual process. For dad, there were so many factors that convinced him that Christ is real and that He really is the one true God. What struck me the most was that after he had narrated his brief testimony to mei and I, he said, "I know you've all been praying that I will one day come to believe."
I don't know if you've ever prayed for something on such a longterm basis that you sort of forget that you've been praying for it? Well, I've prayed through the years that my very "resistant" dad would come to experience a relationship with Christ. Honestly, at times, I have wondered, "Is there any point in praying? Nothing seems to happen." But God is faithful, even when I am often so lacking in faith. He answers. sometimes, it just takes a bit more perseverence, a bit more patience.
So, thank you my dear Lord for hearing and answering my prayers, and the prayers of so many around me, even when they may often be tinged with doubt. Prayer works :)
Several of mum and dad's friends were present at the baptism service and we were so blessed to have them share the special day with us.
Monday, November 27, 2006
Bits of Barcelona
Sigh. I'm still not very good at this whole blogging business.
Spent the last 1/2 hour trying to create a post, along with some photos, but somehow, I couldn't get the photos uploaded and when I did and realised that I wanted to delete a couple of them, I couldn't get rid of them.
But I'm determined to post something tonight!
Well, back in S'pore now :) Had a busy week prior to this, but it was great! Barcelona was really nice... the weather, the food and especially the architecture! I'm still deciding which building I like best, but it's a tough one.
Here are a few random photos... I'll upload the rest onto flickr soon (ok... once it may be a while till I get round to it)
Spent the last 1/2 hour trying to create a post, along with some photos, but somehow, I couldn't get the photos uploaded and when I did and realised that I wanted to delete a couple of them, I couldn't get rid of them.
But I'm determined to post something tonight!
Well, back in S'pore now :) Had a busy week prior to this, but it was great! Barcelona was really nice... the weather, the food and especially the architecture! I'm still deciding which building I like best, but it's a tough one.
Here are a few random photos... I'll upload the rest onto flickr soon (ok... once it may be a while till I get round to it)
Can't seem to get the captions in the right place, so this will have to do.
First photo is of hot chocolate. Yup, it tends to be listed under "desserts" in Barcelona and very rightfully so. It's really more like thick, molten chocolate. A real sweet treat!
Next one is of the famous Sagrada Familia. This particular photo is taken from the "passion" facade. There are 3 facades- Nativity (the only one that was completed by Gaudi during his day), Passion and Glory (yet to be completed). The beauty of the Sagrada is simply indescribable. The attention to detail reflects the immense passion that Gaudi put into designing and building the Sagrada. The one thing the guide spoke of struck me so much- "Do you know why the Gaudi designed the tallest tower to reach the height of 170m?" Well, the answer is simple. Montjuic (tallest mountain in the area stands at 173m). Gaudi believed that man cannot create what God can create, hence, the tallest tower must not exceed the height of the mountain!
Next photo is of the Palau de la musica catalana. This is the "extension" bit, hence the modern architecture. No photography was allowed inside. Again, it is so magnificient! Even more difficult to describe without any internal photos!
Ha... this is a cactus photo. Have this thing about cacti- I'm not too fond of them plus they don't survive very long under my care... so here I'm standing amongst some very large cacti... just to demonstrate their size.
And lastly, there's the Palau de la musica catalana again. This is taken from the other side of the building.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Re o bama
We fall down, we lay our crowns
At the feet of Jesus
The greatness of mercy and love
At the feet of Jesus
And we cry holy, holy, holy
And we cry holy, holy, holy
And we cry holy, holy, holy
Is the Lamb
Re o bama
Re I koba
Naong tsa go Jesu
Lo lorato
Le legolo
Naong tsa go Jesu
O boitshepo, boitshepo
O boitshepo, boitshepo
O boitshepo, boitshepo
O kwana
- Chris Tomlin
Few words, much meaning. This song is really special to me. It's one that seems to "appear" whenever I'm at an extreme of a particular emotion- sometimes when I'm feeling down, sometimes when I'm feeling just so grateful, sometimes when I'm just a little lost and in need of assurance. This song has brought me to my knees, filled my eyes with tears and stirred my heart up so much that it just aches.
The first 2 verses are sung in english, and the next 2 are in setswana, which is the national language of Botswana. Whenever I hear the song, I'm reminded of God's omnipresence.
I find it hard to explain. The words mean so much, yet, even when the language is one that I do not understand, the worship is just as beautiful.
Tonight, we sang it at prayer meeting.
Leaving later this morning for Barcelona, returning to Glasgow next week for a day before flying back to S'pore. It was strange and a bit sad bidding farewell to folk in church. "See you in January." I know that before I know it, it will be January 2007, but right now, it seems so far away. Mixed feelings. I'm excited about going to Barcelona, really happy to be spending Christmas with my family in S'pore, but soppy ol me is going to miss everyone here so so much.
So take care... all of you... I'll c u next year... God bless, always.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Friends, coffee and books...
Today was one of those days. My brain was programmed from the minute I awoke to "eat" mode. Hunger wasn't the issue at any point of the day. In fact, my satiety centre was working perfectly fine. It did on many occasions convey the message to my brain- "Stop! Stomach says it can't cope with all the junk being loaded in!" Somehow, some other part of my brain, perhaps I shall call it the "greed centre" won today, which is why I'm feeling absolutely stuffed to the brim. And I said I don't even like crisps... honest!
Anyway, I thought I'd post a picture to represent the institution where I spent the whole of yesterday afternoon and half of this afternoon. I was meant to meet up with a friend who had the day off for coffee and to do some studying. Somehow, we discovered that 2 other friends happened to be off work as well. The 4 of us sat in Starbucks and hung out together. 4 hours and many a hot beverage later, we decided it was time to pull out the books. We managed about half an hour before it was time to return to our respective homes for dinner. So yes, a productive day!
This morning, after multiple sms messages, the 4 of us, plus another friend met for brunch. Then it was off to Starbucks again for more of this "studying" business. We were more successful today. I've now nearly finished chapter 2 of my A&E radiology book... So I can just about name most of the skull sutures:)
As for why it had to be Starbucks... Well, the winter flavours are here! They're sooo good. Every year, my flatmate and I eagerly await the arrival of the red winter cups. Top of the list has to be the eggnog latte. Next comes the gingerbread latte. My new favourite (when I'm not in the mood of caffeine) is the signature hot chocolate. However, nice as it may be, I would advise against getting a venti... I managed one yesterday, but it was really "jelak".
A couple of photos...
Anyway, I thought I'd post a picture to represent the institution where I spent the whole of yesterday afternoon and half of this afternoon. I was meant to meet up with a friend who had the day off for coffee and to do some studying. Somehow, we discovered that 2 other friends happened to be off work as well. The 4 of us sat in Starbucks and hung out together. 4 hours and many a hot beverage later, we decided it was time to pull out the books. We managed about half an hour before it was time to return to our respective homes for dinner. So yes, a productive day!
This morning, after multiple sms messages, the 4 of us, plus another friend met for brunch. Then it was off to Starbucks again for more of this "studying" business. We were more successful today. I've now nearly finished chapter 2 of my A&E radiology book... So I can just about name most of the skull sutures:)
As for why it had to be Starbucks... Well, the winter flavours are here! They're sooo good. Every year, my flatmate and I eagerly await the arrival of the red winter cups. Top of the list has to be the eggnog latte. Next comes the gingerbread latte. My new favourite (when I'm not in the mood of caffeine) is the signature hot chocolate. However, nice as it may be, I would advise against getting a venti... I managed one yesterday, but it was really "jelak".
A couple of photos...
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
There are patients and there are patients.
Did a locum shift at BOC today. All I really did was clerk-in the patients being admitted in the morning and when I'd finished, I started preparing the casenotes for the next day.
Basically, everyone on the ward was receiving chemotherapy... the flavour of the week seems to be 5FU.
Do people ever wonder what a ward full of cancer patients receiving chemotherapy- some curative, some palliative is actually like? Do people have their own preconceptions of the mood in the place?
Well, I'll tell you what it isn't... It isn't a dreary, place full of sad patients resigned to their diagnosis. Perhaps by the time a patient gets chemotherapy, he/she would have come to terms with the diagnosis and simply makes the decision to move on in life... in some cases, remaining "life" may only span weeks or months... Or perhaps he/she, when faced with the stark reality of death learns to appreciate life even more. I can only guess.
There was the jovial man in the second bed with 'radiation burns' across his face and neck, who laughed heartily at my attempt to cart away a pile of casenotes suspended between my arms and my chin... then there was the sweet man in the bed next to the nursing station who was thanking me profusely for simply clerking him in and offering to try my best to improve his symptom management. (He was suffering from such severe mucositis from his treatment that he could hardly swallow without wincing in discomfort)
It's people like these that make my vocation worthwhile. It's so easy to become cynical and disillusioned when faced with the likes of aggressive, ungrateful patients who shout profanities at you for trying to site an intravenous cannula in them so they can receive antibiotics for the cellulitis secondary to their intravenous drug use. And yet, the ones who simply seem to have drawn the short straw in life express only gratitude for every ounce of care that is delivered.
Hmm... in my next job in A&E, I can be assured of an excess of the former category of patients...
Basically, everyone on the ward was receiving chemotherapy... the flavour of the week seems to be 5FU.
Do people ever wonder what a ward full of cancer patients receiving chemotherapy- some curative, some palliative is actually like? Do people have their own preconceptions of the mood in the place?
Well, I'll tell you what it isn't... It isn't a dreary, place full of sad patients resigned to their diagnosis. Perhaps by the time a patient gets chemotherapy, he/she would have come to terms with the diagnosis and simply makes the decision to move on in life... in some cases, remaining "life" may only span weeks or months... Or perhaps he/she, when faced with the stark reality of death learns to appreciate life even more. I can only guess.
There was the jovial man in the second bed with 'radiation burns' across his face and neck, who laughed heartily at my attempt to cart away a pile of casenotes suspended between my arms and my chin... then there was the sweet man in the bed next to the nursing station who was thanking me profusely for simply clerking him in and offering to try my best to improve his symptom management. (He was suffering from such severe mucositis from his treatment that he could hardly swallow without wincing in discomfort)
It's people like these that make my vocation worthwhile. It's so easy to become cynical and disillusioned when faced with the likes of aggressive, ungrateful patients who shout profanities at you for trying to site an intravenous cannula in them so they can receive antibiotics for the cellulitis secondary to their intravenous drug use. And yet, the ones who simply seem to have drawn the short straw in life express only gratitude for every ounce of care that is delivered.
Hmm... in my next job in A&E, I can be assured of an excess of the former category of patients...
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Chestnut explosion and Bob the policebear
Tonight was my second attempt at roasting chestnuts. The first attempt was last week and that resulted in a major chestnut explosion... actually, it was more like 2 explosions. The first occured in the oven and the second after I'd taken them out of the oven. So as you can imagine, there was a lot of cleaning done afterwards.
Tonight, I was determined that there would be no more disasters. I followed the instructions. I pierced each chestnut carefully on the flat side and chucked them in the preheated oven at 200 degrees. Alas, I was still unable to avert disaster- one chestnut was disobedient and had exploded in the oven. But but... I did make very sure I pierced each one!
Then there was the problematic peeling... The first few peeled quite easily but the rest were a bit of an ordeal. Why does the "furry" covering stick to the flesh??? It is impossible to get off. Yet, it is so hard and bitter that eating the chestnut with the furry skin intact isn't much of a solution.
In S'pore, chestnuts are sold at "pasar malams" where they are roasted in this big "roasting thingy" with coffee grounds... the aroma is delectable! What amazes me more is that the vendor doesn't seem to have problems with exploding chestnuts and peeling them doesn't seem to require the dexterity and skill of a chipmunk/squirrel!
I wouldn't bother if they didn't taste so good...
Oh yes, on a separate note, I've got to announce the latest member to my soft toy collection. Introducing.... Bob the policebear! He's an early Christmas gift from KC (he named him Bobby... but I reckon Bob sounds less tacky...)
Ok, guess it's time to try to get some sleep. Have to get up to do a locum shift at BOC.
Tonight, I was determined that there would be no more disasters. I followed the instructions. I pierced each chestnut carefully on the flat side and chucked them in the preheated oven at 200 degrees. Alas, I was still unable to avert disaster- one chestnut was disobedient and had exploded in the oven. But but... I did make very sure I pierced each one!
Then there was the problematic peeling... The first few peeled quite easily but the rest were a bit of an ordeal. Why does the "furry" covering stick to the flesh??? It is impossible to get off. Yet, it is so hard and bitter that eating the chestnut with the furry skin intact isn't much of a solution.
In S'pore, chestnuts are sold at "pasar malams" where they are roasted in this big "roasting thingy" with coffee grounds... the aroma is delectable! What amazes me more is that the vendor doesn't seem to have problems with exploding chestnuts and peeling them doesn't seem to require the dexterity and skill of a chipmunk/squirrel!
I wouldn't bother if they didn't taste so good...
Oh yes, on a separate note, I've got to announce the latest member to my soft toy collection. Introducing.... Bob the policebear! He's an early Christmas gift from KC (he named him Bobby... but I reckon Bob sounds less tacky...)
Ok, guess it's time to try to get some sleep. Have to get up to do a locum shift at BOC.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Maysan's pink day
We celebrated M's bday today... A wee bit early cos C and I will be away next weekend. It was meant to be a surprise, but I believe the birthday girl suspected something was up when she spotted J's bike!!! (so apart from shoes, we must remember to hide bikes in the future)
We had good food- LA's "one pot rice", C's herbal soup, YH's and KC2's veg and a birthday cake for dessert! (one that I made earlier :))
We laughed, laughed and laughed some more. Lame jokes, embarrassing moments, unintentional mishaps... they were all cause for laughter.
Then there was the photo shoot. We must've spent most of the evening taking silly pictures. Will upload some when I get them off J tomorrow.
As a tribute to the birthday gal, we're going to co-ordinate our attire tomorrow--- PINK.
So here's to flowers, cake and all things pink and fluffy!
The boys... & The gals...
The cake... Now you see it... Now you don't! (Waiter J did not provide KC2 with
any utensils. No points for guessing how the cake was consumed)
We had good food- LA's "one pot rice", C's herbal soup, YH's and KC2's veg and a birthday cake for dessert! (one that I made earlier :))
We laughed, laughed and laughed some more. Lame jokes, embarrassing moments, unintentional mishaps... they were all cause for laughter.
Then there was the photo shoot. We must've spent most of the evening taking silly pictures. Will upload some when I get them off J tomorrow.
As a tribute to the birthday gal, we're going to co-ordinate our attire tomorrow--- PINK.
So here's to flowers, cake and all things pink and fluffy!
The boys... & The gals...
The cake... Now you see it... Now you don't! (Waiter J did not provide KC2 with
any utensils. No points for guessing how the cake was consumed)
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Itchy feet
Got back from prayer meeting today and had itchy feet. No, I don't mean it figuratively. I literally had itchy feet. When I was in the shower, I initially tried to use one foot to rub the other (you know what I mean... I'm sure everyone's done it before). It did not satisfy. So I just dug my nails in and gave them a good hearty scratch. Ahh.... there... so much better:)
Well, the itch is gone now. Have not figured out the cause. Don't think there is one.
Hmm... why do I like blogging about the mundane, not-so-important things so much? There really are more important things that are happening in my life to talk about. Perhaps I spend so much time talking about them already that blogging is an outlet where I can make a note of the so-called "less significant" things in life. I do feel that they are worthy of thought.
Ok, perhaps I think too much... So many words and all I wanted to say was that I had itchy feet this evening.
Well, the itch is gone now. Have not figured out the cause. Don't think there is one.
Hmm... why do I like blogging about the mundane, not-so-important things so much? There really are more important things that are happening in my life to talk about. Perhaps I spend so much time talking about them already that blogging is an outlet where I can make a note of the so-called "less significant" things in life. I do feel that they are worthy of thought.
Ok, perhaps I think too much... So many words and all I wanted to say was that I had itchy feet this evening.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Just to explain
S saw me updating my blog and exclaimed, "Dim sum and lambchops??"
Ok, I guess for the benefit of those who don't get it, I should explain...
Well, most people who know me are aware that I absolutely love dim sum. I would happily have it for lunch everyday:) As for lambchops, well, I think I'd rather starve.
So yes, like a true S'porean, there is more to food than meets the stomach... It is representative of the joys and pains, ebb and flow, mountains and valleys of life.
I found the photos on google pictures... Sorry, I have yet to take any personal snapshots of dimsum or lambchops.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Royal Infirmary, Barcelona, Langkawi and the frustrated cactus
Some updates since my last entry...
1. I've got a job for Feb 2007. A&E at Royal Infirmary. A testimony in itself!
2. Decided that a trip to Barcelona would be nice... the flights were a bargain and we've just booked our accommodation (have spent ages scouring the internet for a good deal).
3. Have agreed that it would be a nice idea to spend a few days at the end of the month in a beautiful Langkawi resort.
So yes, lots of holidays lined up... Don't know if they will make the prospect of starting work again any less appealing.
In case you were wondering, that's a frustrated cactus... was downloading emoticons and thought this one was cute. Yes, I do have better things to do, but this is addictive... and entertaining!
1. I've got a job for Feb 2007. A&E at Royal Infirmary. A testimony in itself!
2. Decided that a trip to Barcelona would be nice... the flights were a bargain and we've just booked our accommodation (have spent ages scouring the internet for a good deal).
3. Have agreed that it would be a nice idea to spend a few days at the end of the month in a beautiful Langkawi resort.
So yes, lots of holidays lined up... Don't know if they will make the prospect of starting work again any less appealing.
In case you were wondering, that's a frustrated cactus... was downloading emoticons and thought this one was cute. Yes, I do have better things to do, but this is addictive... and entertaining!
Thursday, November 02, 2006
All day PJs
It's 4.35pm. I'm still in PJs. "lazy bum" I hear you say... But seriously, I woke up at a relatively civilised time of 8.30am. Just haven't had to leave my flat all day, so didn't see the need to get out of my comfy PJs.
Got a new mobile phone 2 days ago. One of those cool walkman ones. Still in the process of learning to use it. Gadgets- look great, sound good, but for a techno-phobe like me, their full functions are never realised.
My revived past-time-- making gifts and cards. Made MS a birthday card last night. In sweet pink (her fave colour) and silver. Went a step further and made her a gift this afternoon. No prizes for guessing the predominant colour. I'm pinked out!
Have an interview tomorrow. Once again, I should be preparing for it, but no, it's still more than 12 hours away, so the sense of urgency hasn't yet kicked in. It'll come.
Got a new mobile phone 2 days ago. One of those cool walkman ones. Still in the process of learning to use it. Gadgets- look great, sound good, but for a techno-phobe like me, their full functions are never realised.
My revived past-time-- making gifts and cards. Made MS a birthday card last night. In sweet pink (her fave colour) and silver. Went a step further and made her a gift this afternoon. No prizes for guessing the predominant colour. I'm pinked out!
Have an interview tomorrow. Once again, I should be preparing for it, but no, it's still more than 12 hours away, so the sense of urgency hasn't yet kicked in. It'll come.
The fear of the Lord
Read Deuteronomy 6 this morning. The fear of the Lord. This seems to be the message of this week. C shared about "fear, honour, reverence" on Sunday. And it has been in my mind. What does it mean to fear the Lord? Deuteronomy 6 tells of Moses warning the Israelites against complacency, against coming to that place where they lose the fear of God.
Therefore, the fear of the Lord compels us to live our lives in obedience to His commands, having no other gods before Him. And our obedience shall be credited to us as righteousness.
v5: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your
strength."
v12: "be careful that you do not forget the Lord..."
v13: "Fear the Lord your God and serve him only and take your oaths in his name."
v25: "And if we are careful to obey all this law before the Lord our God, as he has commanded
us, that will be our righteousness."
Again, the result of fearing the Lord- to lack nothing. Cause and effect.
"Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. Fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing. The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing."
- Psalm 34:8-10
Therefore, the fear of the Lord compels us to live our lives in obedience to His commands, having no other gods before Him. And our obedience shall be credited to us as righteousness.
v5: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your
strength."
v12: "be careful that you do not forget the Lord..."
v13: "Fear the Lord your God and serve him only and take your oaths in his name."
v25: "And if we are careful to obey all this law before the Lord our God, as he has commanded
us, that will be our righteousness."
Again, the result of fearing the Lord- to lack nothing. Cause and effect.
"Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. Fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing. The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing."
- Psalm 34:8-10
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Angry? Confused?
Attended Singhealth presentation today. Still don't really see much difference between the 2 healthcare groups in S'pore. That's unless you want to do psych, which I don't.
I thought I had it all set out in my mind. Especially since I've now got my HSMP visa. I had planned on trying to secure a 6-month post for Feb 2007 and at the same time apply for the new ST training scheme which is due to commence in Aug 2007.
That was the plan. B told me this evening that there's some talk of Lord Warner and discussions regarding HSMP visa holders and their ineligibility to apply for the ST training scheme. Well, that was enough to rock my boat. Are you telling me that after all the hassle and the money spent (it really did cost a lot), my visa is as good as useless? Ok, I can legally reside in this country till Oct 2008, but if I can't join the training scheme, what is the point????
Frustrated. Confused. Angry. All wasted emotions though.
Perhaps it's time to pack up and return home. Perhaps I'm just a fool for wanting to remain in a country that pays little regard to people like me... the aliens...
I thought I had it all set out in my mind. Especially since I've now got my HSMP visa. I had planned on trying to secure a 6-month post for Feb 2007 and at the same time apply for the new ST training scheme which is due to commence in Aug 2007.
That was the plan. B told me this evening that there's some talk of Lord Warner and discussions regarding HSMP visa holders and their ineligibility to apply for the ST training scheme. Well, that was enough to rock my boat. Are you telling me that after all the hassle and the money spent (it really did cost a lot), my visa is as good as useless? Ok, I can legally reside in this country till Oct 2008, but if I can't join the training scheme, what is the point????
Frustrated. Confused. Angry. All wasted emotions though.
Perhaps it's time to pack up and return home. Perhaps I'm just a fool for wanting to remain in a country that pays little regard to people like me... the aliens...
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
The mooncake pig
This is the "mooncake pig", half-eaten. I took photos of it as it sat on top of the microwave (better colour contrast). Have been meaning to post it, but only got round to doing it today. I'd purchased it for S shortly after the mooncake festival. This year, we didn't buy mooncake (we had an overdose of it last year). When I saw this little pig at the chinese supermarket, I remembered that S likes the "mooncake pig" that I so detested as a child and decided to buy it for her.
We have issues with mooncake. S likes the crust, the thicker the better. She also likes the yolk. I on the other hand, like the filling, so the thinner the crust the better. Plus, I really really dislike the yolk.
Back to the reason for the picture. Well, S commented after chomping the pig's abdomen and half of its gluteus maximus that the manufacturers must have squirted the filling in through a small orifice in the pig's butt. Yup, the poor pig got filling squirted in through its butt hole (anatomically speaking, through it's anus). I thought this most amusing and decided to attempt to capture it on photo. It was virtually impossible to zoom in on the anatomical orifice in question, so this was the best I managed.
Btw, S consumed the head last... which disturbed me much. I had previously advised her that the pig should be consumed in the same manner as jelly babies- you bite the head off first to prevent it from screaming. Oh well, it's her pig...
Sunday, October 29, 2006
The sorrows of the world
The world I live in is full of sadness. Within my extended family, there is evidence of the pain of living itself. The pain that the troubles of this world brings. Then there are the people whom I meet at work- colleagues, patients... And there are the people whom I walk past in my rush to get to my next destination. Spoken or unspoken, there is much sorrow.
Big problems, small problems... who's to judge? The same problem, 2 different people, 2 different responses. Why do some people have so much upon their shoulders and yet still find within them the courage to carry on? Not only carry on, but to love and to serve others with a big smile on their face. Yet there are others who seemingly have so much going right for them, but are filled with worry, with fear that they wouldn't be able to cope with the little load on their shoulders, with fear that they won't have enough for tomorrow?
We have each been given 1 life. It's up to us to live it. We have been given choices and the ablility to make these choices. Ever wondered... "Where would I be if I had taken the other road? Made a different choice?" Life is full of decisions. What would life be if we didn't have to make choices? Sort of like one of those books that I would read as a child, where you start from the first page, but how one gets to the ending is dependant on the options that one chooses along the way. Not only do those options determine the end, but they also determine the route and the length of time the adventure takes. Not dissimilar to life, isn't it?
Am reminded of a song by Michael Card- "Joy in the Journey". The joy is in the journey.
Troubles. People cope (or fail to cope) in different ways. Some just grit there teeth and get on with it, albeit miserably... others take it in their stride and cling on to the hope that it will get better... yet others just cave in under the pressure. Some turn to alcohol, others to drugs, others try to find an escape in the form of work or a hobby. Denial. How long can a person deny the existence of their troubles for? Surely it will one day drive them to insanity or depression.
And then there's God. Where does He come in? "If there is a God, why does He allow me to experience so much pain" you might say. I guess I don't have all the answers. I don't think anybody does. All I know is that whilst there are troubles in my life, I know that my Lord is always with me. He will never leave me, He will never forsake me. That in itself, along with the fact that I know He will never give me a burden to heavy to bear is more than enough for me to cling on to. If only everyone- my relatives, colleagues, patients, people whom I encounter on the street knew God, they wouldn't have to cope with life alone.
Since the beginning of time, since the fall of man, there has been pain in the world. And because there is a God, a God who loves us so much, He provided a way out. He endured all the pain, more pain than anything our lives bring. He died so that we don't have to, so that we won't perish. So, what does God know about pain? He knows everything there is to know about pain!
It's so hard for me to grasp why this world is so opposed to the Truth. And yet, I obviously must think that the truth is hard to understand, cos if I thought it easy to understand, I would be out there explaining it to everyone. It contradicts, doesn't it? Will they label me a lunatic? Will they call me a fool? Or will they just reject me outright? And come to think of it, instead of sharing it with people, I'm blogging it. Ok, it meets my need of wanting to tell someone (or the computer) in this instance, without having to await a response.
Well, I guess there is the chance that someone out there who stumbles upon this blog is hurting and in search for an answer. Small chance, but not impossible, right?
To all the people who are looking for answers to their troubles, their sadness, may the Joy of the Lord be your strength.
"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." - Rom 5:3
"but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. - Isa 40:31
"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." - 2Cor12:9
Big problems, small problems... who's to judge? The same problem, 2 different people, 2 different responses. Why do some people have so much upon their shoulders and yet still find within them the courage to carry on? Not only carry on, but to love and to serve others with a big smile on their face. Yet there are others who seemingly have so much going right for them, but are filled with worry, with fear that they wouldn't be able to cope with the little load on their shoulders, with fear that they won't have enough for tomorrow?
We have each been given 1 life. It's up to us to live it. We have been given choices and the ablility to make these choices. Ever wondered... "Where would I be if I had taken the other road? Made a different choice?" Life is full of decisions. What would life be if we didn't have to make choices? Sort of like one of those books that I would read as a child, where you start from the first page, but how one gets to the ending is dependant on the options that one chooses along the way. Not only do those options determine the end, but they also determine the route and the length of time the adventure takes. Not dissimilar to life, isn't it?
Am reminded of a song by Michael Card- "Joy in the Journey". The joy is in the journey.
Troubles. People cope (or fail to cope) in different ways. Some just grit there teeth and get on with it, albeit miserably... others take it in their stride and cling on to the hope that it will get better... yet others just cave in under the pressure. Some turn to alcohol, others to drugs, others try to find an escape in the form of work or a hobby. Denial. How long can a person deny the existence of their troubles for? Surely it will one day drive them to insanity or depression.
And then there's God. Where does He come in? "If there is a God, why does He allow me to experience so much pain" you might say. I guess I don't have all the answers. I don't think anybody does. All I know is that whilst there are troubles in my life, I know that my Lord is always with me. He will never leave me, He will never forsake me. That in itself, along with the fact that I know He will never give me a burden to heavy to bear is more than enough for me to cling on to. If only everyone- my relatives, colleagues, patients, people whom I encounter on the street knew God, they wouldn't have to cope with life alone.
Since the beginning of time, since the fall of man, there has been pain in the world. And because there is a God, a God who loves us so much, He provided a way out. He endured all the pain, more pain than anything our lives bring. He died so that we don't have to, so that we won't perish. So, what does God know about pain? He knows everything there is to know about pain!
It's so hard for me to grasp why this world is so opposed to the Truth. And yet, I obviously must think that the truth is hard to understand, cos if I thought it easy to understand, I would be out there explaining it to everyone. It contradicts, doesn't it? Will they label me a lunatic? Will they call me a fool? Or will they just reject me outright? And come to think of it, instead of sharing it with people, I'm blogging it. Ok, it meets my need of wanting to tell someone (or the computer) in this instance, without having to await a response.
Well, I guess there is the chance that someone out there who stumbles upon this blog is hurting and in search for an answer. Small chance, but not impossible, right?
To all the people who are looking for answers to their troubles, their sadness, may the Joy of the Lord be your strength.
"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." - Rom 5:3
"but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. - Isa 40:31
"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." - 2Cor12:9
Monday, October 23, 2006
My bed residents
Meet my bed residents... Yes, I've got an interview on Wednesday for the Edinburgh A&E job... and I really should be preparing for the interview... instead, I'm busy msn-ing and taking photos of my the inhabitants of my lovely bed... Let me introduce them... starting with the photo on the right (from left to right)- Mr Snowman, Elmo and Sheepy. The 3 of them have a special place on my bed whilst the rest of the clan sit on top of the chest outside my room. I know it's not right to show favouritism, but I can't help it. The three of them are special. Ok, I guess they're really cute (in my opinion), but that's not it. They each carry with them the sentiments of people dear to me-
1. Mr Snowman was a gift from SC. She had a Mr Snowman in her room and everytime I was there, I had to cuddle him... and one fine day, I found Mr Snowman on my bed! I thought someone had played a prank and kidnapped SC's Mr Snowman and put him on my bed... cos he looked exactly like SC's Mr Snowman! Complete with dirt on nose! But it was a case of mistaken identity. Sweet SC had bought me Mr Snowman's twin. Actually, they look so alike I reckon he must be a clone! Btw, he's the softest, squishiest creature ever! I won't go into the details of my favourite parts of his anatomy...
2. Elmo was a gift from "the nasals"... yup, the bunch of secondary school friends whom I treasure so much to this day. Just before I left for the UK, we had a get-together session and they presented me with an elmo cake that they had made together. I was most touched! And at the airport, I was given elmo... the little red creature himself to take on board the flight. He's been with me all these years, through good times and bad... I'm sure he's got some of my dried up tears on his torso! And btw, my elmo's a haemophiliac - it's my explanation for his bright red fur. Poor Elmo!
3. Sheepy once lived in Takashimaya departmental store in S'pore. He travelled a long way to the UK with his purchaser and guardian to the UK in July 2004. The first time we met was on the day of my graduation. He's no longer as white as he used to be, but I love him to bits. Back to Sheepy's guardian- I love her to bits too... yup, even more than Sheepy... that really does say a lot. That's the reason why sheepy even has a solo photo... to emphasise his status in my bed-dom.
Now it's back to the "questions they could ask me at interview"... I've come up with a list of questions (not exhaustive). That's a tenth of the problem solved. I now need to come up with the answers.
Musings of a birthday grouch
Yet another year. My birthday ended 55 min ago.
Birthdays... are they worth celebrating? I do sometimes wonder. But, like most of the human race, I've celebrated my coming of age somewhat conventionally. Through the years, this has taken on many forms... from the pool parties and 'care bear' cakes to 'sit down' sophisticated lunches with my family, to 'surprise' parties, to 'try to be surprised' parties...
But a strange phenomenon has plagued me since my 21st birthday. That of the "birthday grouch" effect. For some reason, unknown to myself, I have been grouchy on my birthday. Don't get me wrong, I really do appreciate all the effort, love, well wishes and prezzies that my family and friends shower upon me. The problem lies within. I don't understand it. Has anyone ever experienced an itch at the sole of their foot that wouldn't go away no matter where or how hard you scratch? Well, it's a bit like that... I can't identify the source!
And yet, I have absolutely nothing against birthdays. I thoroughly enjoy celebrating other people's birthdays. I especially love the joy and surprise that lights up their faces. So, what is my problem? Do I feel unworthy of their love? Am I a reluctant recipient? Hmm... perhaps it's my self-esteem... Or just the odd embarrassment of being the centre of attention. (Oh how I do like blending into the background)
Having said that, I resolved last night that this year's going to be different. I'm going to embrace my birthday and everything that comes with it with a big smile and a thankful heart.
And guess what... I've had a fantastic birthday. Enjoyed the whole lot... the cakes, the birthday choruses, the overload of rich food... yup, even the awkwardness of being the centre of attention for a day.
More than anything, I thank the Lord for the year that has passed. He has been there, just as I've prayed each morning- that the Lord will walk before me, walk beside me and watch me from behind. For each step that I take in the future, big or small, I know that He is there to guide me. In faith, I shall step forth.
"To hear with my heart
To see with my soul
To be guided by a hand
I cannot hold
To trust in a way
That I cannot see
That's what faith must be"
-Michael card
Till next year...
Birthdays... are they worth celebrating? I do sometimes wonder. But, like most of the human race, I've celebrated my coming of age somewhat conventionally. Through the years, this has taken on many forms... from the pool parties and 'care bear' cakes to 'sit down' sophisticated lunches with my family, to 'surprise' parties, to 'try to be surprised' parties...
But a strange phenomenon has plagued me since my 21st birthday. That of the "birthday grouch" effect. For some reason, unknown to myself, I have been grouchy on my birthday. Don't get me wrong, I really do appreciate all the effort, love, well wishes and prezzies that my family and friends shower upon me. The problem lies within. I don't understand it. Has anyone ever experienced an itch at the sole of their foot that wouldn't go away no matter where or how hard you scratch? Well, it's a bit like that... I can't identify the source!
And yet, I have absolutely nothing against birthdays. I thoroughly enjoy celebrating other people's birthdays. I especially love the joy and surprise that lights up their faces. So, what is my problem? Do I feel unworthy of their love? Am I a reluctant recipient? Hmm... perhaps it's my self-esteem... Or just the odd embarrassment of being the centre of attention. (Oh how I do like blending into the background)
Having said that, I resolved last night that this year's going to be different. I'm going to embrace my birthday and everything that comes with it with a big smile and a thankful heart.
And guess what... I've had a fantastic birthday. Enjoyed the whole lot... the cakes, the birthday choruses, the overload of rich food... yup, even the awkwardness of being the centre of attention for a day.
More than anything, I thank the Lord for the year that has passed. He has been there, just as I've prayed each morning- that the Lord will walk before me, walk beside me and watch me from behind. For each step that I take in the future, big or small, I know that He is there to guide me. In faith, I shall step forth.
"To hear with my heart
To see with my soul
To be guided by a hand
I cannot hold
To trust in a way
That I cannot see
That's what faith must be"
-Michael card
Till next year...
Thursday, October 05, 2006
The public library
I registered myself with the local library today. Yup, the library that I must've walked past more than a thousand times over my 7 years in Glasgow. Before today, I had only walked into that library once. Even then, it was only because I was accompanying a friend who had to return a book. Gosh, public libraries sure have evolved since the days when I frequented them (ok,I lie... I've never really been a regular library-goer, but you know what I mean). If the ones in Glasgow are offering wireless internet access, imagine what the libraries around the rest of the world must be offering! (literacy rates in this city ain't fantastic, in case you were wondering)
Why hadn't I ventured in before? I guess during my uni days, I always had access to the Uni library and Med school study landscape. When I started working, there was the hospital library. But now that I've joined the booming unemployment market, I figured it would be a good time to join the local library.
So equipped with my new Glasgow City Council library card, I'm looking forward to cold, wet days spent in the warm local library amongst novels, magazines, DVDs and flat screen computers... a welcome change from the shelves of kumar and clark, robbins, harrison's, bmj issues and the like...
Why hadn't I ventured in before? I guess during my uni days, I always had access to the Uni library and Med school study landscape. When I started working, there was the hospital library. But now that I've joined the booming unemployment market, I figured it would be a good time to join the local library.
So equipped with my new Glasgow City Council library card, I'm looking forward to cold, wet days spent in the warm local library amongst novels, magazines, DVDs and flat screen computers... a welcome change from the shelves of kumar and clark, robbins, harrison's, bmj issues and the like...
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
I fail to understand
Whenever I walk home from the gym, I go past a funeral home. Today however, I noticed that there was a black SUV-like vehicle parked outside and on it was painted "Funeral home ambulance". Yup, a funeral home ambulance, complete with rooftop sirens and all. I fail to understand... why on earth would a funeral home require an ambulance... I mean... surely it'd be too late by then...
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