Musings of a birthday grouch

Yet another year. My birthday ended 55 min ago.

Birthdays... are they worth celebrating? I do sometimes wonder. But, like most of the human race, I've celebrated my coming of age somewhat conventionally. Through the years, this has taken on many forms... from the pool parties and 'care bear' cakes to 'sit down' sophisticated lunches with my family, to 'surprise' parties, to 'try to be surprised' parties...

But a strange phenomenon has plagued me since my 21st birthday. That of the "birthday grouch" effect. For some reason, unknown to myself, I have been grouchy on my birthday. Don't get me wrong, I really do appreciate all the effort, love, well wishes and prezzies that my family and friends shower upon me. The problem lies within. I don't understand it. Has anyone ever experienced an itch at the sole of their foot that wouldn't go away no matter where or how hard you scratch? Well, it's a bit like that... I can't identify the source!

And yet, I have absolutely nothing against birthdays. I thoroughly enjoy celebrating other people's birthdays. I especially love the joy and surprise that lights up their faces. So, what is my problem? Do I feel unworthy of their love? Am I a reluctant recipient? Hmm... perhaps it's my self-esteem... Or just the odd embarrassment of being the centre of attention. (Oh how I do like blending into the background)

Having said that, I resolved last night that this year's going to be different. I'm going to embrace my birthday and everything that comes with it with a big smile and a thankful heart.
And guess what... I've had a fantastic birthday. Enjoyed the whole lot... the cakes, the birthday choruses, the overload of rich food... yup, even the awkwardness of being the centre of attention for a day.

More than anything, I thank the Lord for the year that has passed. He has been there, just as I've prayed each morning- that the Lord will walk before me, walk beside me and watch me from behind. For each step that I take in the future, big or small, I know that He is there to guide me. In faith, I shall step forth.

"To hear with my heart
To see with my soul
To be guided by a hand
I cannot hold
To trust in a way
That I cannot see
That's what faith must be"
-Michael card

Till next year...