Further to my post last year about my relationship with Milo, I have a little more to say.
I encountered Milo at the Sainsbury's supermarket nearby. This brought some delight. The bargain-hunter Singaporean in me was even more pleased by the fact that it was cheaper than my usual "tummy warming" bedtime drink- horlicks. Sadly, the pleasure ends at the purchase.
I ladelled a big spoonful of the brown stuff into my mouth (yes, I have to admit that I have a disgusting habit of eating as well as drinking my Milo) and my immediate thoughts were- "There's something dreadfully wrong here!" The texture was way too grainy and the flavour far less chocolatey and much sweeter than the stuff I know as Milo.
Next thing that pops into my head is "Why?!?!"
I examine the tin and discover that it is imported from Africa. Perhaps they like their Milo sweeter, grainier and less chocolatey. Lesson learnt. Always read the label before you buy. Especially when buying Milo. Or just stick to Horlicks.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
What's in the name?
Ever had one of those strange feelings when you think about a word again and again until it becomes completely alien to you? I often experience this "word strangeness" when I stare at a word for a prolonged period of time.
Last night however, was the first time a similar feeling occured, but with my name. For a moment, my name didn't seem like mine. I felt detached from my name. I went a step further and thought about all the other people I know who share my name and it seemed to suit them fine. It just didn't quite belong to me.
Maybe I am going a little crazy...
Last night however, was the first time a similar feeling occured, but with my name. For a moment, my name didn't seem like mine. I felt detached from my name. I went a step further and thought about all the other people I know who share my name and it seemed to suit them fine. It just didn't quite belong to me.
Maybe I am going a little crazy...
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Jibberish
It's 5am and I'm on my last night shift! Tried to get some kip ealier on, but I kept getting bleeped and now I've pretty much given up and am choosing to stay awake.
I want to write something on my blog, but I can't seem come up with anything coherent. So this post is a bit of a post for the sake of posting...
As I'm writing this, I'm beginning to see how ridiculous it is, so I shall just stop here...
I want to write something on my blog, but I can't seem come up with anything coherent. So this post is a bit of a post for the sake of posting...
As I'm writing this, I'm beginning to see how ridiculous it is, so I shall just stop here...
Monday, October 22, 2007
Letter to my blog
Dearest blog
I've neglected you, haven't I?
Seriously, it's all that facebook's fault. Ok, perhaps you think it's a lame excuse, but facebook should come with a health warning! It's really quite addictive. And you know we all have 24 hours in a day.
Having said that, I do miss you much, my blog. You allow me to convert my feelings to thoughts and thoughts to words. You've shared in my joys, encountered my wrath and been blotted by my tears.
So perhaps we should rekindle this connection we once shared. I will try to make some effort. And you, well... you'll be there, as long as google's in business.
Me
I've neglected you, haven't I?
Seriously, it's all that facebook's fault. Ok, perhaps you think it's a lame excuse, but facebook should come with a health warning! It's really quite addictive. And you know we all have 24 hours in a day.
Having said that, I do miss you much, my blog. You allow me to convert my feelings to thoughts and thoughts to words. You've shared in my joys, encountered my wrath and been blotted by my tears.
So perhaps we should rekindle this connection we once shared. I will try to make some effort. And you, well... you'll be there, as long as google's in business.
Me
Friday, June 22, 2007
Song of the moment.
Everything
Tim Hughes
God in my living
There in my breathing
God in my waking
God in my sleeping
God in my resting
There in my working
God in my thinking
God in my speaking
Chorus:
Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything
Verse 2:
God in my hoping
There in my dreaming
God in my watching
God in my waiting
God in my laughing
There in my weeping
God in my hurting
God in my healing
Bridge:
Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me the hope of glory
You are everything
Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me the hope of glory
Be my everything
Tim Hughes
God in my living
There in my breathing
God in my waking
God in my sleeping
God in my resting
There in my working
God in my thinking
God in my speaking
Chorus:
Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything
Verse 2:
God in my hoping
There in my dreaming
God in my watching
God in my waiting
God in my laughing
There in my weeping
God in my hurting
God in my healing
Bridge:
Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me the hope of glory
You are everything
Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me the hope of glory
Be my everything
Thinking
Haven't blogged in a long time.
It's been a busy few weeks. Finally have a few days off and it feels fantastic to not have to be somewhere (ok... that somewhere is mostly at work)
In the last month, I've done lots of travelling, lots of contemplating, learning, growing.
Was in Dublin at the end of May for an acute medicine course. The course was actually really good. Very succinct, yet not too intense. Don't think anyone really wants to hear about the details of what I learnt about the best management of meningitis though. I did however experience something that I realised at that very time was a first. Well, I really only went to Dublin for the course. Arrived at the hotel about 12.30am on Monday morning and the course was due to start at 9.30am. As I got ready for bed, it hit me... Before that night, I had never stayed in a hotel room alone before. It was very strange. Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep. Did some thinking instead... the details of which are a little to close to my heart to blog.
Anyway, got back from the course on Tues night and left for Cardiff on Wed for W's wedding. Ahh... spent about 5 days there helping with wedding preparations, then there was the actual wedding. It was a trip that left me with lots and lots of thoughts. I was pretty sleep-deprived at the end of it, having stayed up quite a few of the nights chatting with my fellow bridesmaids. As I caught the flight back to Glasgow early Monday morning, I was really exhausted. Despite this, my mind was racing. I'd come to see what really mattered to me, what and who I'd taken for granted, what I wanted to change, how I want to lead my life...
It all sounds a little wishy-washy, but there's just so much that is in the form of "feelings and emotions" that it is hard to express. Furthermore, it may involve describing events or situations which might step on some toes...
------------------------------------------------------------------
Anyway, after all the running between dublin, glasgow, cardiff, southampton etc, I returned to Glasgow and it was "payback time". It was work, work and more work. I'm sure no one really wants to hear more about that...
------------------------------------------------------------------
Then there's the whole job saga. I wasn't offered anything during the initial round 1 offers. (the whole job application process in the UK is just too complicated to explain... all I can say is that it's far from organised and far from humane) Was resigned to having to apply for round 2 and do some locums from august... was even thinking of going travelling, doing missions work... it was all part of the "Why should I conform... I'll just go do all the things I've always wanted to do" phase.
Well, as I was trying to make changes to my CV before printing it out and sending my 2nd application for round 2, an email came in. Looked like one from the job people. I've learnt by now not to get my hopes up cos repeated disappointment still stings (and you thought I'd be completely numb by now). Opened the email and to my disbelief, it was an offer of a 1 year post in London/KSS. I was elated to have a job to go to in August. Given the current job situation, jobs are like gems... (it's sad I know) Then it started to set in... that in 6 weeks, I'm going to have to relocate across the country. I still don't know where in London or Kent or Surrey or Sussex I'll be working in or what the post entails. All I know is that I'll have to leave Glasgow.
It's been 8 years, a good 8 years. I still remember the time when I flew up from Cambridge to Glasgow for the medical school interview. It couldn't have gone more wrong. I'd left my lugguage on the conveyor belt and had to tell the bus driver to let me off so I could go collect my lugguage. Then getting in a cab from the bus station and it took me to the wrong place. And being told by the accommodation people that my interview venue was a 15 minute walk away. (I later stayed at that same student accommodation in my first year and realised that even when you walk that same route everyday at "Singapore+daughter-of-a-i-don't-wait-for-you-mother" pace, you won't make it there in 15 minutes) Needless to say I was late for my interview. Thankfully, the interviews were running late. The weather was to-die-for- a shade of winter grey with persistent drizzle and bone-biting chill. I told myself that Glasgow would be my last choice of Universities. Well well... guess what, I've lived in this "last choice" place for 8 years and have absolutely loved every bit of it. I've seen in these years how faithful my God has been and how even when my human mind cannot see beyond the blanket of grey, the light always breaks through. Once again, the joy is in the journey :)
So dear Glasgow, it looks like our 8 years is nearly over and it's time I bid farewell. I'll visit, promise!
God's been faithful and will remain faithful... "I must trust, I must trust... and believe that I can trust...."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
More to come...
It's been a busy few weeks. Finally have a few days off and it feels fantastic to not have to be somewhere (ok... that somewhere is mostly at work)
In the last month, I've done lots of travelling, lots of contemplating, learning, growing.
Was in Dublin at the end of May for an acute medicine course. The course was actually really good. Very succinct, yet not too intense. Don't think anyone really wants to hear about the details of what I learnt about the best management of meningitis though. I did however experience something that I realised at that very time was a first. Well, I really only went to Dublin for the course. Arrived at the hotel about 12.30am on Monday morning and the course was due to start at 9.30am. As I got ready for bed, it hit me... Before that night, I had never stayed in a hotel room alone before. It was very strange. Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep. Did some thinking instead... the details of which are a little to close to my heart to blog.
Anyway, got back from the course on Tues night and left for Cardiff on Wed for W's wedding. Ahh... spent about 5 days there helping with wedding preparations, then there was the actual wedding. It was a trip that left me with lots and lots of thoughts. I was pretty sleep-deprived at the end of it, having stayed up quite a few of the nights chatting with my fellow bridesmaids. As I caught the flight back to Glasgow early Monday morning, I was really exhausted. Despite this, my mind was racing. I'd come to see what really mattered to me, what and who I'd taken for granted, what I wanted to change, how I want to lead my life...
It all sounds a little wishy-washy, but there's just so much that is in the form of "feelings and emotions" that it is hard to express. Furthermore, it may involve describing events or situations which might step on some toes...
------------------------------------------------------------------
Anyway, after all the running between dublin, glasgow, cardiff, southampton etc, I returned to Glasgow and it was "payback time". It was work, work and more work. I'm sure no one really wants to hear more about that...
------------------------------------------------------------------
Then there's the whole job saga. I wasn't offered anything during the initial round 1 offers. (the whole job application process in the UK is just too complicated to explain... all I can say is that it's far from organised and far from humane) Was resigned to having to apply for round 2 and do some locums from august... was even thinking of going travelling, doing missions work... it was all part of the "Why should I conform... I'll just go do all the things I've always wanted to do" phase.
Well, as I was trying to make changes to my CV before printing it out and sending my 2nd application for round 2, an email came in. Looked like one from the job people. I've learnt by now not to get my hopes up cos repeated disappointment still stings (and you thought I'd be completely numb by now). Opened the email and to my disbelief, it was an offer of a 1 year post in London/KSS. I was elated to have a job to go to in August. Given the current job situation, jobs are like gems... (it's sad I know) Then it started to set in... that in 6 weeks, I'm going to have to relocate across the country. I still don't know where in London or Kent or Surrey or Sussex I'll be working in or what the post entails. All I know is that I'll have to leave Glasgow.
It's been 8 years, a good 8 years. I still remember the time when I flew up from Cambridge to Glasgow for the medical school interview. It couldn't have gone more wrong. I'd left my lugguage on the conveyor belt and had to tell the bus driver to let me off so I could go collect my lugguage. Then getting in a cab from the bus station and it took me to the wrong place. And being told by the accommodation people that my interview venue was a 15 minute walk away. (I later stayed at that same student accommodation in my first year and realised that even when you walk that same route everyday at "Singapore+daughter-of-a-i-don't-wait-for-you-mother" pace, you won't make it there in 15 minutes) Needless to say I was late for my interview. Thankfully, the interviews were running late. The weather was to-die-for- a shade of winter grey with persistent drizzle and bone-biting chill. I told myself that Glasgow would be my last choice of Universities. Well well... guess what, I've lived in this "last choice" place for 8 years and have absolutely loved every bit of it. I've seen in these years how faithful my God has been and how even when my human mind cannot see beyond the blanket of grey, the light always breaks through. Once again, the joy is in the journey :)
So dear Glasgow, it looks like our 8 years is nearly over and it's time I bid farewell. I'll visit, promise!
God's been faithful and will remain faithful... "I must trust, I must trust... and believe that I can trust...."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
More to come...
Saturday, May 26, 2007
The weather
How British! The weather. It features in nearly every conversation, it influences peoples' moods, it determines how many intoxicated patients will present at the ED...
Ah, but bad weather. Bad weather just seems to follow me! Seriously! Whenever I'm off, the weather's crap and when I'm working, it's nice! I'm not exaggerating!
And yes, whenever I'm away on holiday, the weather will be great till the day before I arrive, then it'll pour till the day I leave... then it'll be sunny again!
It'll be sunny tomorrow... cos I'm working...
Ah, but bad weather. Bad weather just seems to follow me! Seriously! Whenever I'm off, the weather's crap and when I'm working, it's nice! I'm not exaggerating!
And yes, whenever I'm away on holiday, the weather will be great till the day before I arrive, then it'll pour till the day I leave... then it'll be sunny again!
It'll be sunny tomorrow... cos I'm working...
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Funny dream
I think I've got blogger's diarrhoea... one post after another. Or perhaps it's more like "overflow" diarrhoea from not having posted anything for a while.
And I do apologise for how graphic the last paragraph is. The medics amongst you would probably not even flinch, but for everyone else, I hope you weren't having your dinner whilst reading.
Anyway, I just remembered a funny dream I had last night... and thought I'd have to put it down... just cos it was so ridiculous I'm beginning to doubt my sanity.
I don't actually remember all the details, but what I do remember is that I was being taken advantage of by one of the consultants whom I'd worked for last year, Dr C (he's a bit of a tyrant, albeit a physically not-so-large one) and there was this hunk of a guy who came to my rescue- yup, full 6-pack and "muscly". I was so happy that he came to my before any harm befell me, but after he rescued me, he shrunk down to the size of an action figure and asked me to put him back on the shelf!
You know how dreams are often influenced by the recent events? Well, this was a really hilarious combination! Serves me right for winging about Dr C with one of the other medics the other day...
The first thing that comes to mind when I recalled the dream...
Dr C:
My hero:
LOL :)
And I do apologise for how graphic the last paragraph is. The medics amongst you would probably not even flinch, but for everyone else, I hope you weren't having your dinner whilst reading.
Anyway, I just remembered a funny dream I had last night... and thought I'd have to put it down... just cos it was so ridiculous I'm beginning to doubt my sanity.
I don't actually remember all the details, but what I do remember is that I was being taken advantage of by one of the consultants whom I'd worked for last year, Dr C (he's a bit of a tyrant, albeit a physically not-so-large one) and there was this hunk of a guy who came to my rescue- yup, full 6-pack and "muscly". I was so happy that he came to my before any harm befell me, but after he rescued me, he shrunk down to the size of an action figure and asked me to put him back on the shelf!
You know how dreams are often influenced by the recent events? Well, this was a really hilarious combination! Serves me right for winging about Dr C with one of the other medics the other day...
The first thing that comes to mind when I recalled the dream...
Dr C:
My hero:
LOL :)
Postpone the negative thoughts
Dearest blog...
I was going to vent all my frustrations, pen all my woes and release all that pent up emotion within me.
I'll have to postpone doing so now cos I've now thought about the SofM and am feeling better already. To speak of all the negative things would just make me feel low, so there's not much point in doing so.
So we shall just keep it at raindrops on roses, warm woollen mittens, brown paper packages tied up with string, girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes, wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings... (I've omitted those that I don't actually think are that nice anyway)
Edelweiss... I actually think it sounds prettier than it looks.
Love,
your faithful owner
I was going to vent all my frustrations, pen all my woes and release all that pent up emotion within me.
I'll have to postpone doing so now cos I've now thought about the SofM and am feeling better already. To speak of all the negative things would just make me feel low, so there's not much point in doing so.
So we shall just keep it at raindrops on roses, warm woollen mittens, brown paper packages tied up with string, girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes, wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings... (I've omitted those that I don't actually think are that nice anyway)
Edelweiss... I actually think it sounds prettier than it looks.
Love,
your faithful owner
The Sound of Music
Let's start at the very begninning.
Meant to post this last week, but following my return from London, things got a little hectic (mostly with work). Perhaps the moment has passed me by and I will not be able to fully express the joy that watching The Sound of Music brought. But I shall try anyway.
I am the sort of person who would rather not watch a movie than watch it on my own. I have never wanted to watch a movie that badly. Trips to the cinema are more social for me.
So you see, the SofM really has such a special place in my heart. I went down to London for an interview, which went badly. There was no point in dwelling on it, and the weather was crap and my feet were sore from those heels... So I decided that I'd just go to the box office and buy myself tickets to the SofM. It didn't matter that no one was free to go with me. It didn't matter that I would have to hang around town for the next 4 hours. I wanted to watch it. Full-stop.
It was fantastic!!! I bought the best tickets I could get, got there, squeezed past groups of tourists, families, couples etc... plonked myself (and my shopping bags) down and enjoyed the musical from beginning to end. It's my favourite musical of all time. The one that I'd learnt all the songs to as a child. The one that would make me smile no matter how grey the skies are, or how deep the valleys seem. It didn't matter who was sitting on my left and right. It didn't matter that my feet were still sore. I was there... in the hills, in the chapel, in the von Trapp family home. It felt like 2 hours where I was transported out of this problem-filled world to a world where I felt I was 5 again and my only care was how I was going to convince dad to buy me that toy.
I could watch it again. Again and again and again. I've tried to relive it all by buying the soundtrack, but its not the same. There'll be a next time. I'd watch it, whether I'm 30 or 50 or 80... and I know I'd still feel like a 5-year-old again!
Hmm... It's worked! I feel happier just talking about it...
Rodgers and Hammerstein- what geniuses!!!
Meant to post this last week, but following my return from London, things got a little hectic (mostly with work). Perhaps the moment has passed me by and I will not be able to fully express the joy that watching The Sound of Music brought. But I shall try anyway.
I am the sort of person who would rather not watch a movie than watch it on my own. I have never wanted to watch a movie that badly. Trips to the cinema are more social for me.
So you see, the SofM really has such a special place in my heart. I went down to London for an interview, which went badly. There was no point in dwelling on it, and the weather was crap and my feet were sore from those heels... So I decided that I'd just go to the box office and buy myself tickets to the SofM. It didn't matter that no one was free to go with me. It didn't matter that I would have to hang around town for the next 4 hours. I wanted to watch it. Full-stop.
It was fantastic!!! I bought the best tickets I could get, got there, squeezed past groups of tourists, families, couples etc... plonked myself (and my shopping bags) down and enjoyed the musical from beginning to end. It's my favourite musical of all time. The one that I'd learnt all the songs to as a child. The one that would make me smile no matter how grey the skies are, or how deep the valleys seem. It didn't matter who was sitting on my left and right. It didn't matter that my feet were still sore. I was there... in the hills, in the chapel, in the von Trapp family home. It felt like 2 hours where I was transported out of this problem-filled world to a world where I felt I was 5 again and my only care was how I was going to convince dad to buy me that toy.
I could watch it again. Again and again and again. I've tried to relive it all by buying the soundtrack, but its not the same. There'll be a next time. I'd watch it, whether I'm 30 or 50 or 80... and I know I'd still feel like a 5-year-old again!
Hmm... It's worked! I feel happier just talking about it...
Rodgers and Hammerstein- what geniuses!!!
Mish mash
So much on my mind. A whole load of mish mash.
The past week and a half has been a bit of an emotional roller coaster.
At this point in time, I have so much to say, but all I want to do is dig a big hole in the ground and hide away from the world.
The past week and a half has been a bit of an emotional roller coaster.
At this point in time, I have so much to say, but all I want to do is dig a big hole in the ground and hide away from the world.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Oops
On nights at the moment. Was finishing this morning when one of the Registrars walks in.
Him: "Hi."
Me: "Oh, hi."
I then notice something on his upper lip.
Me: "Oh dear, what happened to your lip."
Him: "Cold sore."
He proceeded to walk on.
I seem to have a knack for embarrassing situations. It honestly looked like he'd bitten his lip or had fallen over or something.
At least I didn't reply with: "Tried zovirax?"
Him: "Hi."
Me: "Oh, hi."
I then notice something on his upper lip.
Me: "Oh dear, what happened to your lip."
Him: "Cold sore."
He proceeded to walk on.
I seem to have a knack for embarrassing situations. It honestly looked like he'd bitten his lip or had fallen over or something.
At least I didn't reply with: "Tried zovirax?"
Sunday, May 06, 2007
The PPPP+H of salt
Do you believe in coincidences? What if the timing is just so perfect? Would you then believe that it is all the hand of God?
I was doing QT this morning. Read Leviticus 2. I often find it difficult to see the relevance of old testament traditions in life today, but Leviticus 2 did make an impression. The book of Leviticus starts by talking about the different offerings that the Israelites offered unto God. Lev 2 speaks of the grain offering. They offered different types of grain offering unto the Lord, but the important thing about each grain offering was a) it must be without yeast and b) it must be seasoned with salt.
Salt. It's mentioned a lot in the bible. We are called to be the salt of the earth. And to not lose our saltiness, or we'll lose all usefulness. The bible commentary spoke of salt as a substance that penetrates, that preserves and brings healing. Such a simple substance, with such tremendous properties. When I think about the healing properties of salt, I can't help but relate it to salt on an oral ulcer. It really really smarts, doesn't it? How you have to grit your teeth and contort every facial muscle as the salt penetrates the ulcer. Yet you do it cos you know that it will help the ulcer to heal. Somehow (I don't really know why), that led me to think of Hebrews 12:11-
"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Went to church. Pastor Fred was preaching. And guess what? He started with Matthew 5, about us being salt of the earth. Then he referred us back to Leviticus 2. At that moment, I couldn't help but think to myself... "You can't be serious... of all passages in the bible... Lord, you can't speak louder than this, can you?"
From his sermon, I was reminded of yet another "P" property of salt- Purity. Salt is pure. I was wondering how salt, NaCl can lose it's saltiness. Well, it's when it loses it's purity, when it is contaminated.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
So now when I think of salt, I think of all the "Ps"
Purity
Preservative
Penetrance
Pain
+ healing properties... couldn't come up with a "P" for that...
--------------------------------------------------------------------
I was doing QT this morning. Read Leviticus 2. I often find it difficult to see the relevance of old testament traditions in life today, but Leviticus 2 did make an impression. The book of Leviticus starts by talking about the different offerings that the Israelites offered unto God. Lev 2 speaks of the grain offering. They offered different types of grain offering unto the Lord, but the important thing about each grain offering was a) it must be without yeast and b) it must be seasoned with salt.
Salt. It's mentioned a lot in the bible. We are called to be the salt of the earth. And to not lose our saltiness, or we'll lose all usefulness. The bible commentary spoke of salt as a substance that penetrates, that preserves and brings healing. Such a simple substance, with such tremendous properties. When I think about the healing properties of salt, I can't help but relate it to salt on an oral ulcer. It really really smarts, doesn't it? How you have to grit your teeth and contort every facial muscle as the salt penetrates the ulcer. Yet you do it cos you know that it will help the ulcer to heal. Somehow (I don't really know why), that led me to think of Hebrews 12:11-
"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Went to church. Pastor Fred was preaching. And guess what? He started with Matthew 5, about us being salt of the earth. Then he referred us back to Leviticus 2. At that moment, I couldn't help but think to myself... "You can't be serious... of all passages in the bible... Lord, you can't speak louder than this, can you?"
From his sermon, I was reminded of yet another "P" property of salt- Purity. Salt is pure. I was wondering how salt, NaCl can lose it's saltiness. Well, it's when it loses it's purity, when it is contaminated.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
So now when I think of salt, I think of all the "Ps"
Purity
Preservative
Penetrance
Pain
+ healing properties... couldn't come up with a "P" for that...
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Glorious weekend
I had a lovely weekend :)
It's been a while since I've felt this sense of liberation. No exams, no interviews, no work. It's momentary, I know, but I really really did try to make the most of this weekend. Phoned mum and dad on Friday morning, then had brunch outdoors with R, proceded to the Botanics and lay on the grass, soaked in the sunshine and read my favourite magazine (ok, it's Grand Designs, I shall admit)
Friday evening was spent at Prayer meeting. Played the KB, something I've not done in such a very long time and I was really blessed by the ministry:)
Was meant to go to Loch Lomond on Saturday, but that was cancelled. Spent the morning thinking of what a beautiful day it was, blasting "Casting Crowns" latest album and just thanking God and remembering His faithfulness. Then had breakfast, and did my long overdue ironing whilst watching Saturday Kitchen (ok, again sad, but there's no better way to spend a Saturday morning). Took a roadtrip to Aberfoyle and went cycling with friends in the afternoon. Just imagine peddling as fast as you can along the banks of the loch, sun on your back, wind in your face. Bliss.
Back in Glasgow, chatted with friends whom I hadn't spoken to in ages, had a nice shower, then met a R and O for hot chocolate/vanilla steamer.
Weather today was not too nice, combination of wind, rain and some sunshine. Spent the morning in church (more about that later), then went supermarketing (bought enough to feed an army, or just me for a week) and joined blockbuster. Yup, I joined blockbuster. Even I find it difficult to believe.
The weekend's coming to an end... It's bank holiday Monday tomorrow, but I don't get public holidays. Start nights tomorrow. Still, I thank God for the great weekend. As for the nights... It'll just make me appreciate my next weekend off even more:)
It's been a while since I've felt this sense of liberation. No exams, no interviews, no work. It's momentary, I know, but I really really did try to make the most of this weekend. Phoned mum and dad on Friday morning, then had brunch outdoors with R, proceded to the Botanics and lay on the grass, soaked in the sunshine and read my favourite magazine (ok, it's Grand Designs, I shall admit)
Friday evening was spent at Prayer meeting. Played the KB, something I've not done in such a very long time and I was really blessed by the ministry:)
Was meant to go to Loch Lomond on Saturday, but that was cancelled. Spent the morning thinking of what a beautiful day it was, blasting "Casting Crowns" latest album and just thanking God and remembering His faithfulness. Then had breakfast, and did my long overdue ironing whilst watching Saturday Kitchen (ok, again sad, but there's no better way to spend a Saturday morning). Took a roadtrip to Aberfoyle and went cycling with friends in the afternoon. Just imagine peddling as fast as you can along the banks of the loch, sun on your back, wind in your face. Bliss.
Back in Glasgow, chatted with friends whom I hadn't spoken to in ages, had a nice shower, then met a R and O for hot chocolate/vanilla steamer.
Weather today was not too nice, combination of wind, rain and some sunshine. Spent the morning in church (more about that later), then went supermarketing (bought enough to feed an army, or just me for a week) and joined blockbuster. Yup, I joined blockbuster. Even I find it difficult to believe.
The weekend's coming to an end... It's bank holiday Monday tomorrow, but I don't get public holidays. Start nights tomorrow. Still, I thank God for the great weekend. As for the nights... It'll just make me appreciate my next weekend off even more:)
Sunday, April 29, 2007
More ranting
Bad bad day at work.
It's a long story involving me, another doctor, the medics and a patient with an anterior communicating artery aneurysm. Was told this morning by one of the nurses that that I'd better flee the country cos that "another doctor" was going to shoot my ass.
Considering it's day 7 of my 11-day stretch of non-stop work, I was already losing the plot and I really didn't need this to spoil the rest of the day. Nonetheless, being the anti-conflict person that I am, it's still floating about in my mind and I'm dreading tomorrow, when I'll probably have to face the "show down".
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I had the feeling it wasn't going to be a good day. Took a cab to work (cos the underground doesn't open till 10am on Sundays, and my sleep is too important for me to commence the hour-long trek to work at 7am). The cab driver turned up in his shiny white VW Passat all in good time. I got in and the conversation went:
Him: "So, you're on your way to work?"
Me: "Yup."
(Silence for a while)
Him: "You're a doctor, or?" (wonder why he didn't complete the question)
Me: "Yup, I'm a doctor."
Normally, at this point, the conversation could go one of 3 ways:
a) He could start telling me about his aunt or uncle or cousin who was admitted to hospital last year with "double pneumonia" and contracted MRSA, which killed him.
b) He could just move on to some other topic like the sort of stuff one must see in an inner city emergency department, or even something not medically related.
c) He could start trying to "get some medical advice".
Well, today's cabby decided on the third option. Normally, I don't have issues with people asking me for random bits of advice (even though I often haven't a clue what caused their strange rash or spot or lump). But I was tired and wishing I was anywhere else apart from in a cab on the way to work on a sunny sunday. The last thing I wanted was for work to start even earlier... Needless to say, I obliged him with advice about his "frozen shoulder", which basically, he already knew anyway cos his GP had been dealing with it.
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When bombshells are dropped early in the morning, your day is inevitably affected. I'm referring to the potential conflict, not the cabby. Plodded on through the rest of the day and was just so glad when it was all over.
But alas, tomorrow is d-day. Plus, I still have 2 days of 9-and-a-half hour shifts and another 2 days of 12-hour shifts to survive before I get a day off. Can't wait for friday. Then I wish that Monday would never come. Starting nights on Monday:(
---------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm glad Mr Laptop is working again. Just telling the world (or nobody) about all my frustrations is therapeutic.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
On days like these, I can't help but toy with the idea of a career change. What can I do? Any suggestions?
It's a long story involving me, another doctor, the medics and a patient with an anterior communicating artery aneurysm. Was told this morning by one of the nurses that that I'd better flee the country cos that "another doctor" was going to shoot my ass.
Considering it's day 7 of my 11-day stretch of non-stop work, I was already losing the plot and I really didn't need this to spoil the rest of the day. Nonetheless, being the anti-conflict person that I am, it's still floating about in my mind and I'm dreading tomorrow, when I'll probably have to face the "show down".
---------------------------------------------------------------------
I had the feeling it wasn't going to be a good day. Took a cab to work (cos the underground doesn't open till 10am on Sundays, and my sleep is too important for me to commence the hour-long trek to work at 7am). The cab driver turned up in his shiny white VW Passat all in good time. I got in and the conversation went:
Him: "So, you're on your way to work?"
Me: "Yup."
(Silence for a while)
Him: "You're a doctor, or?" (wonder why he didn't complete the question)
Me: "Yup, I'm a doctor."
Normally, at this point, the conversation could go one of 3 ways:
a) He could start telling me about his aunt or uncle or cousin who was admitted to hospital last year with "double pneumonia" and contracted MRSA, which killed him.
b) He could just move on to some other topic like the sort of stuff one must see in an inner city emergency department, or even something not medically related.
c) He could start trying to "get some medical advice".
Well, today's cabby decided on the third option. Normally, I don't have issues with people asking me for random bits of advice (even though I often haven't a clue what caused their strange rash or spot or lump). But I was tired and wishing I was anywhere else apart from in a cab on the way to work on a sunny sunday. The last thing I wanted was for work to start even earlier... Needless to say, I obliged him with advice about his "frozen shoulder", which basically, he already knew anyway cos his GP had been dealing with it.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
When bombshells are dropped early in the morning, your day is inevitably affected. I'm referring to the potential conflict, not the cabby. Plodded on through the rest of the day and was just so glad when it was all over.
But alas, tomorrow is d-day. Plus, I still have 2 days of 9-and-a-half hour shifts and another 2 days of 12-hour shifts to survive before I get a day off. Can't wait for friday. Then I wish that Monday would never come. Starting nights on Monday:(
---------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm glad Mr Laptop is working again. Just telling the world (or nobody) about all my frustrations is therapeutic.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
On days like these, I can't help but toy with the idea of a career change. What can I do? Any suggestions?
It is alive!
Poor Mr Laptop died last week (yup, very creative name I know.. and yes, I've decided laptop has to be male).
For some reason, the touch pad and some of the keys refused to work, no matter how I rebooted the system. Tried everything. Phoned knowledgable Uncle H for advice. But it just wouldn't work. In my desperation, I impulsively picked up my reformatting cds and wiped Mr Laptop's contents out. Still, even though I'd lost everything I had installed (heart-wrenching), he was still malfunctioning.
Had no more time to waste on willing him to work. Had more pressing things to do, like preparing for my interview. So I just left him there and tried to ignore him.
But you know what? 2 days ago, after the whole interview saga, I decided I would just switch him on, just to convince myself that Mr Laptop was truly very ill and that I would have to take him to a doctor.
Guess what? Touch pad suddenly worked. So... miracles do happen! All's not lost.
His brain is still pretty empty at the moment, but I'll start filling him up soon...
So I'm pleased that Mr Laptop is well, and I'll try to take better care of him from now on.
For some reason, the touch pad and some of the keys refused to work, no matter how I rebooted the system. Tried everything. Phoned knowledgable Uncle H for advice. But it just wouldn't work. In my desperation, I impulsively picked up my reformatting cds and wiped Mr Laptop's contents out. Still, even though I'd lost everything I had installed (heart-wrenching), he was still malfunctioning.
Had no more time to waste on willing him to work. Had more pressing things to do, like preparing for my interview. So I just left him there and tried to ignore him.
But you know what? 2 days ago, after the whole interview saga, I decided I would just switch him on, just to convince myself that Mr Laptop was truly very ill and that I would have to take him to a doctor.
Guess what? Touch pad suddenly worked. So... miracles do happen! All's not lost.
His brain is still pretty empty at the moment, but I'll start filling him up soon...
So I'm pleased that Mr Laptop is well, and I'll try to take better care of him from now on.
Friday, April 20, 2007
And I ramble on...
Why are my blog entries always so melancholic???
Really, I am a happier person than my entries would appear to portray. I guess it's down to the fact that when I have time to blog, I also have time to think... And when I have time to think, I tend to over-analyse everything.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Back to work on Monday, so there'll be less of the thinking and the blogging.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Oh yes, booked an interview for next week. I phoned up the A&E secretaries to let them know. The conversation went:
Me: "I'm just phoning to let you know that I have an interview to attend next Thurs."
Her: "What shift are you doing then?"
Me: "8am-6pm"
Her: "What time is the interview?"
Me: "1.30pm."
Her: "Do you need to travel?"
Me: "No, it's in Glasgow. Some hotel. Not exactly sure where."
Her: "Oh ok, so you won't be away the whole day then."
Me: "Erm, yah, I'll just have to leave about lunchtime."
Her: "I'm sure it'll be fine if you're away for an hour or so."
Me: "Ok, bye."
I sat there thinking... How on earth do you expect me to travel to an interview, wait for it, go through it and travel back to work in an hour?!?!
Argh... how tight can these people get???
--------------------------------------------------------------
Addicted to Grey's anatomy. I'd watched all of season 2 last year. As an exam "incentive", I ordered season 1 on amazon the day after my part 2 exam.
Now that I've watched it all, I'm craving more! But season 3 isn't out on DVD yet and the clips on youtube are great, but just not quite enough. Anyone has season 3???
--------------------------------------------------------------
Really, I am a happier person than my entries would appear to portray. I guess it's down to the fact that when I have time to blog, I also have time to think... And when I have time to think, I tend to over-analyse everything.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Back to work on Monday, so there'll be less of the thinking and the blogging.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Oh yes, booked an interview for next week. I phoned up the A&E secretaries to let them know. The conversation went:
Me: "I'm just phoning to let you know that I have an interview to attend next Thurs."
Her: "What shift are you doing then?"
Me: "8am-6pm"
Her: "What time is the interview?"
Me: "1.30pm."
Her: "Do you need to travel?"
Me: "No, it's in Glasgow. Some hotel. Not exactly sure where."
Her: "Oh ok, so you won't be away the whole day then."
Me: "Erm, yah, I'll just have to leave about lunchtime."
Her: "I'm sure it'll be fine if you're away for an hour or so."
Me: "Ok, bye."
I sat there thinking... How on earth do you expect me to travel to an interview, wait for it, go through it and travel back to work in an hour?!?!
Argh... how tight can these people get???
--------------------------------------------------------------
Addicted to Grey's anatomy. I'd watched all of season 2 last year. As an exam "incentive", I ordered season 1 on amazon the day after my part 2 exam.
Now that I've watched it all, I'm craving more! But season 3 isn't out on DVD yet and the clips on youtube are great, but just not quite enough. Anyone has season 3???
--------------------------------------------------------------
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Of warmth and chills
Sat in Kelvingrove Park this evening. The sun was shining, birds chirping, tulips in bloom...
I love sunny, yet slightly chilly days. The glorious sunshine lights up all of creation and you just feel so lifted. And as you take a deep breath, the chilly air creates a tingling sensation in your chest. I know it sounds strange, but the feeling of coldness makes you so much more aware of the warmth and the converse is just as true.
As I lay prone with my pen in hand, I made a diary entry. As always, I look back to the last time I'd written- it was exactly a month ago. Thoughts started to crowd my head. It certainly feels like more than a month has gone by. The last month was busy and hectic, both physically and emotionally. There have been moments of coldness and warmth, hope and disappointment, confusion and certainty.
Extremes. Extremes provide perspective.
I scribbled away. Then it started getting more chilly. The sun was going down, the warmth was disappearing and it was getting colder.
Some things in life are certain and predictable. The sun will always go down. It was time to pack up and take a slow stroll home.
I look up at the blue skies. Perhaps the sunshine will return in the morning. Perhaps.
The weather forecast says tomorrow will be cloudy and rainy. Why is it always cloudy and rainy in Glasgow and warm and sunny in London or Brighton or Wales or just about everywhere else?
Perhaps the sun might just peek through... Hope is a good thing, right?
I love sunny, yet slightly chilly days. The glorious sunshine lights up all of creation and you just feel so lifted. And as you take a deep breath, the chilly air creates a tingling sensation in your chest. I know it sounds strange, but the feeling of coldness makes you so much more aware of the warmth and the converse is just as true.
As I lay prone with my pen in hand, I made a diary entry. As always, I look back to the last time I'd written- it was exactly a month ago. Thoughts started to crowd my head. It certainly feels like more than a month has gone by. The last month was busy and hectic, both physically and emotionally. There have been moments of coldness and warmth, hope and disappointment, confusion and certainty.
Extremes. Extremes provide perspective.
I scribbled away. Then it started getting more chilly. The sun was going down, the warmth was disappearing and it was getting colder.
Some things in life are certain and predictable. The sun will always go down. It was time to pack up and take a slow stroll home.
I look up at the blue skies. Perhaps the sunshine will return in the morning. Perhaps.
The weather forecast says tomorrow will be cloudy and rainy. Why is it always cloudy and rainy in Glasgow and warm and sunny in London or Brighton or Wales or just about everywhere else?
Perhaps the sun might just peek through... Hope is a good thing, right?
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Early morning thoughts and doubts
My sleep cycle is topsy-turvy at the moment. Have been sleeping at odd hours, waking at 3am... am neither in night shift nor day shift mode.
It's actually quite nice being awake in the early hours of the morning. The air is chilly and fresh, there's a still silence that feels so peaceful. Perfect environment to spend some quiet time with God. Somehow, despite the perfect setting, I'm so distracted. Am in that place once again, where I know He is near, yet He feels so far away. It makes me feel so guilty sometimes, that I can keep my focus on so many things for at least 15 minutes, but I can't even focus on the lover of my soul for half that time. I guess I just don't love Him enough. If I did, then it shouldn't be so hard...
The lyrics of the song below describe so very well how I very often feel- Like everyone around me is so strong and trying so hard and showing so much love... and there I am... the one that doesn't quite belong.
In a way, I know what I'm supposed to say, to do, to feel... but where does it stop being genuine? Am I just pretending? The song just exposes it all...
How do I love unconditionally, without judging, without expecting?
-------------------------------------------------------------
Stained Glass Masquerade
by Casting Crowns
Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small
Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong
So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them
Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade
Is there anyone who's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage
The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart
But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be
Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay
It's actually quite nice being awake in the early hours of the morning. The air is chilly and fresh, there's a still silence that feels so peaceful. Perfect environment to spend some quiet time with God. Somehow, despite the perfect setting, I'm so distracted. Am in that place once again, where I know He is near, yet He feels so far away. It makes me feel so guilty sometimes, that I can keep my focus on so many things for at least 15 minutes, but I can't even focus on the lover of my soul for half that time. I guess I just don't love Him enough. If I did, then it shouldn't be so hard...
The lyrics of the song below describe so very well how I very often feel- Like everyone around me is so strong and trying so hard and showing so much love... and there I am... the one that doesn't quite belong.
In a way, I know what I'm supposed to say, to do, to feel... but where does it stop being genuine? Am I just pretending? The song just exposes it all...
How do I love unconditionally, without judging, without expecting?
-------------------------------------------------------------
Stained Glass Masquerade
by Casting Crowns
Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small
Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong
So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them
Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade
Is there anyone who's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage
The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart
But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be
Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay
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